Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Will I Be Disillusioned?

There is something fantastic about New York City.

There is something absolutely romantic, thrilling, exciting, challenging, huge about this place. And I love it. I really do.

I read an essay by Joan Didion and she talked about how New York is a place for people who are young, how she loved the city when she got here, and how it wore on her and she became hardened to it. She likened her life in the city to one of a marriage, a great relationship- to a first love, like the one by which you were first touched and will never love the same way.

Will I be this way? When will my honeymoon period with this city end? In a way I hope that I move before it ends- though I'm not sure I believe that it will- but at the same time, I want to be here for long enough to know it intimately, if that's not taking the marriage metaphor too far.

Speaking of marriage, and not that I'm in the mindset of thinking about that, but it has been a theme of my life for the past year- I was watching Dr. Phil yesterdau (my first time, I swear!) and there were all these dysfunctional newlyweds on the show. 2 and 3 years in with grave problems and no hope- and it was one more time that I realized how much I want to prove the system wrong.

Well that's all for now I suppose.


melissa o said...

I hope you do leave before you become disillusioned.

But you never know, it may come when you're senior and having senior-itis.

Or you may be like Carrie in SITC and never fall out of love with the city. Just having a love/hate relationship?

I don't know.

BUT whatever happens. I expect to always have my buddy ready and willing to make a girls trip to NYC.