New York City, here I come!
I think that sounds enthusiastic, and oh- believe me- it is, but at the same time, imagine it a bit deflated, ok?
It looks like I'm taking off- back to the land of sidewalk cafes, roomates, subway rides, and school. I leave tomorrow morning. I am looking forward to the semester, and yet I have this sense of... I dunno. Not sure I can describe it. I'm leaving something, and I know what that is- but there's more than that.
I'm at a point where I feel the urgency to complete. I want to complete the next 2 years- I want to have a degree and start real life. WHAT>? As soon as I type that out my mind reels and my body jerks as if to say "oh no you dini't!" I have NO IDEA what the future holds, no idea what I'll do for a living, much less what I'll do for my concentration! So how in the Bob Jones University am I going to graduate when I'm so... young?
I feel that you, my readers (whoever you are- often I suspect these are ramblings I only put out there to get them off my mind, and I'm ok with that) must be bored with this little quibble I continually have. Home vs. New York. Life vs. Learning. Or both. Or Neither. Love vs. Fear. Travel vs. Sticking around. I never get anywhere.
Here's the thing though- I'm not scared. I'm not worried. I'm a bit nervous- how will I manage this course load, this schedule, etc- the usual I think- but I'm not terrified like I have been before.
I'm learning to surrender. And not just surrender and then take up my arms again, but toss the gun across the deck and be done with it- and it's a relief. So I guess all of that mulling and nothingness is to say that I'm excited for the semester- but I'll miss you, Home, and all you hold- and I'll see you soon!
So- off to pursue the immediate goals, while all the while eyeing what's next.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
New York City, here I come!
Posted by Claire at 5:40 PM
"Beginning my studies the first step pleas'd me so much,
The mere fact consciousness, these forms, the power of motion,
The least insect or animal, the sense, eyesight, love,
The first step I say awed me and pleas'd me so much,
I have hardly gone and hardly wish'd to go any farther,
But stop and loiter all the time to sing it in ecstatic songs.
---Beginning My Studies, Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
Posted by Claire at 4:02 PM
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
I went to Vegas last Thursday through Saturday with some friends. That was a good time.
I'm not going to bore you with details about how the flashy lights and oversized pictures of naked women stung my eyes, or how we stayed in the Luxor hotel (you know, the big pyramid), or how we walked through the Bellagio and stared face to face at Monet and Van Gogh, or how the burger at Margaritaville tasted, or a tale of Coyote Ugly, or how tasty was the Cheesecake factory, or how it was hot but not THAT hot, or how Zima XXX Black Cherry was the worst sip I took, or how we shopped at the Aladdin Passage, or how we used the monorail (I'd go for the 10 ride pass if I were you- it's shareable), or how fun the ride there was, or how fun the ride back was, or the problems with Econolodge as a company, or how scary the New York New York rollercoaster was, or how I wore a sparkly shirt, or how hot my lady friends were, or how much fun I had, or how the absence of apple juice may provide insight in to the state of American quality control, or how the little cards of naked women have names on them that the men looking at them will never read (like 'Wendy' in big pink bubble letters), or how I got to speak some italian, or how hard I laughed, or how bad our escorts were (...), or how cool it was...
I'm just going to say I had a great time.
I had a great time! Hopefully I'll be back to the Vegas in January- yeah?
Posted by Claire at 5:19 PM
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
It's a Matthew!
That's right folks, my dear friend Matthew has officially taken the literal plunge! out of a plane! Twice yesterday, and he'll do it again twice today and again tomorrow. This isn't just skydiving though, folks, this is intensity defined. Not that I really know, but I tend to believe the guy when he tells me stuff. This is you-might-die-if-you-screw-up kind of business, and it's scary too! But he survived the first two, and I have this sinking sensation he'll do equally well these next three, and show up at Mel's wedding with hus jump wings strategically placed...
Just thought I'd let you know I have a friend who can fly! GO AIRBORNE!
Posted by Claire at 8:16 AM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
They sit there on this lazy Sunday afternoon with the shade of the front lawn's tree covering them. Simple life I suppose. But as they sit there, her laying in his arms, his hands clasped holding her to him, gazing in her eyes... one can see there are no pretenses, there are no expectations except love. It's not perfect, but for today this is heaven, and they'll relax until the afternoon fades into evening. That'll be nice.
Posted by Claire at 5:28 PM
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Vrrrroooom. Brrrrrmmmmmm. Eerrrrr. Broooom. vroooom. vrooom. eeeee!!! vroom.
The sound of the toy motorcycle in his hands whirled around me as I poured my cup of coffee. Mom was talking to Cheryl, Da was in and out watering plants, and the motorcycle was speeding around the countertop at devastating speeds. Quite a driver.
There's something about the way little boys make car noises. I've always been impressed. Gun noises too- they're always so good at that. It was the perfect sound with which to start my day, for some reason.
Ian and Elizabeth are having a boy- CONGRATULATIONS to them, and here's to the little boy noises to come!
Posted by Claire at 1:56 PM