Monday, December 05, 2005

The Grossest Chicken Fingers Ever. Ever.

On Saturday night I had the most disgusting chicken fingers ever.

Staci and I headed up to 95th street to go to the Ballet. We had no idea what was up there in the way of food, but we decided to take our chances. So we get up there, and it looks decent, and we end up deciding between a Thai place and a diner. The diner wins because we both like fried food and it was markedly cheaper too.

So we sit down, peruse the menu, I say I've gotta find something other than a burger cause I had had one the day before, and she says she'll get the chicken fingers. I second that motion, and then Staci, in perfect forshadowing style says something to the effect of, "Chicken fingers are a safety- they're always good. You can't really screw them up."

I'm here to tell you folks, yes. YES you can. Here's one thing you can do to screw them up: have them be low grade chicken that was frozen in strips that you then drop in a frier, then serve up on a pasty white plate with a piece of lettuce underneat and some half-heartedy honey mustard sauce, as if a garnish and a condiment are going to make up for your assinine approach to an un-screw-upable meal.

Photographic evidence:
It's amazing how one "chicken strip" could carry an overcooked stale taste while doubling with a raw on the inside, "is this really safe to eat?" sensation.

And this is how Staci felt about it:

And me?

In order to salvage any hope of walking out of there mediocrely satisfied, we ordered a black and white shake (my absolute fave, you should know. Did you?) and this is how we felt after that:

So we did end up surviving that wretched meal, no thanks to the chicken fingers, and then we skipped across the street to the ballet. We realized that it was kind of a community theatery type performance with a bunch of really scary parental upper west side types, and in order to commemorate our first jump into New York youth community theater, we took these pictures:

And there you have. The Chronicles of Saturday Night.


Mel said...

I Know, I KNOW your favorite!

Vanilla ice cream mixed with chocolate syrup - the ONLY way to make a milkshake!

It doesn't matter if your black or white!